Is it time for him to change his Facebook status?

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  Once again we have another question brought to us at the Ask a Male blog. 

Today's question is: 

"We've been together for quite some time and I've always kept my status up and public to say "In a Relationship".  I want the world to know I am with someone and with him.  What does it say about a guy who says he won't change his status to 'In a Relationship' with me? Why won't he change it for me?"

Some might be quick to prejudge this question but we here at the Ask a Male blog take all questions very seriously. Without questions, we don't have a blog to write. 

Social media has impacted relationships greatly since its inception.  The public portrayal of relationships and the public online statement gives many of us a sense of security in our status together.  We become proud of the person we are with and want others to see us "With Them". As couples, we like to show off. As single people, we long sometimes for the public approval of changing that status over to "In a Relationship"(I know I did). 

Researching this, I came up with a couple of different articles on the subject.  Neither of them positive. 

Psychology Today writes that this public display of affection might in fact be doing more damage than good? You can read the article HERE. 

The Huffington Post states that constant displays of "Togetherness" in fact demonstrate a direct sign of insecurity in the relationship.  Apparently the more "Couple" photos people post, the more apt they are to feel insecure about the future of their relationship.  Apparently it also applies to married couples as well. Something to consider while you read it HERE.

These two articles certainly paint the "Relationship Status" icon in a bad light.  That displaying you are in a couple overtly and extraneously is damaging and destructive.  In that sense, lambasting your friends list with cute pics of the two of you kissing can be damaging both to your friendships and your self esteem.  Too much of any good thing really reveals a host of flaws.

However... 

The innate need to keep all personal life details, including personal relationships, private; tends to make the author question the mans motivations. 

Why would a man NOT wan't to have his relationship status shown publically? 

Most men, if we are happy about the partners we have and are happy about our life situation, want to tell the world about the person we are with.  We want the world to know we have a Girlfriend.  We want to know that THIS Girlfriend is OUR OWN... Our precious if you will. 

If we are indeed intent on pursuing this woman we've found, we are intent on telling the world at least in a strong emphatic way "I choose you!" 

Most of us, if we are secure in our lives, don't date to play.  We date for the hope of finding a future. 

If we are however NOT happy with our situation in whatever sense, we tend to become pretty secretive in nature.  We hide our emotions, because our western society teaches us that men aren't supposed to have emotions.  We hide our wants and desires because we don't know how to deal with them.  

Further, if we don't want to make that public declaration of the person we are with right off, something deeper seated is wrong. 

Maybe we are hiding from something that embarasses us and we are hoping you don't find out. 

Maybe we are afraid that the public might judge us for the choice of love we found. 

Maybe we aren't ready for a full time commitment and (sadly) might have something on the side. 

Whatever the reason, if we are telling you that we aren't READY to tell the world we are with you, we are admitting something is really wrong with the situation.  The only way to find out what that is, is to start and open and honest and most importantly safe discussion with us to find out why we aren't making that commitment a public statement. 

If we aren't willing to make that commitment and we aren't willing to talk about why, then ladies this is your pro-tip from a male... RUN!  Don't walk, just get away from him because you are setting yourself up for sheer heartbreak. 

Now, I can't say for certain WHY your guy won't change his status. But guys, if it's important to the person you love, you do it for them. Be proud of the lady you are with and tell the world you are with them. 

If you are reading this and you find yourself convicted and you want to change your relationship status (quietly), then follow the instructions HERE. 

Ladies, the right guy will do so much more than just change his "Relationship Status" for you. 

If you have a question for the Ask a Male blog, drop a comment below. We can't keep running without your questions so... Have at it!