Good evening everyone! It's a wet February day here and almost everyone is turning their thoughts to the upcoming Valentines day. Almost...
A question we received at the Ask a Male blog:
"Recently my boyfriend broke up with me to go run off with another girl behind my back. I'm a bigger girl and she's a twig. Why do guys want skinny (expletive)?!"
This sounded a little similar to a question we've already written about here as to why men will date plus sized women but won't seem to admit they are in a relationship with one.
However, this question deserved a little bit different of a take.
The honest truth is, LOTS of men like curvy women. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of Facebook and Instagram and Tumblr feeds dedicated to the sole appreciation of the "Plus Sized Woman". They go by different names, "Thick", "Plump", "Plus Sized", "Curvy" but they all feature roughly the same models with roughly the same idea; a girl with more to offer is gorgeous.
So it's not that men don't like "plus sized girls", lots and lots (and LOTS) of men do. Your question really is "Why does HE want THAT skinny girl" and the answer I think is found in the question. He wanted her behind your back. He cheated...
What your boyfriend did was pure and simple cheating. He started an (probably emotional but possibly sexual) affair with someone he felt he knew who was willing to offer something he felt was missing in his life. Let me make one thing abundantly clear, there is NO excuse for a man to cheat on a woman. Conversely no excuse for anyone to cheat on anyone. It hurts people no matter the "well intentioned" reason anyone offers.
But it sounds like this man decided that this woman had something he wanted.
It may be that it was because she was alluring (in his mind) sexually. It may be that she aesthetically was pleasing to what he desired. But I guarantee you, its not solely because she's thin. Nor probably because she "looks better than you". Appearances are ALWAYS judged based on personal aesthetic and experience. I know from experience that whenever I have been cheated on, I instantly want to judge the persons appearance compared to my own and always ask "Why aren't I sexy enough?" It's not always limited to women to think this way.
Why men cheat will have to be the subject for another blog post, but let me offer some comfort here. It isn't because you were "big" and because she was "tiny". It wasn't because she "looked better" or was a "better lay" than you. It's because deep down within himself, he is missing something that he has yet to find or complete in his own emotional make up. He's seeking that in the arms of someone else and the truth is, he can only find it within himself.
Let him go...
Right now, he's her problem. I guarantee you that if he was willing to cheat on you, he's willing to cheat on her... on the next one... and so on until he finds out that what he's looking for will never be found in the arms (or vagina) of any other woman. It has to be a cavity within his own emotional make up that he has to fill.
So don't feel bad that someone is running off with someone you think might be "skinnier" than you. In the end, let her have him and find out what being with him is really like. If several hundred thousand Internet groups dedicated to plus size models reveals anything, its that you won't want for attention for long.
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