Do men really rush getting into a relationship?

This is a common question I get. I admit, I have been guilty of this scenario too. I think it honestly depends on the guy and the culture he was raised in along with his own sense of insecurity.

As previously established, guys are taught to view sex as the relationship. We are taught to view physical intimacy as the hallmark and pinnacle of our relationship. So we are pushed and pressured to “fall in love” (read as “Sleep with”) our chosen love object and once we have had her for a day or a night… We feel somehow we’ve established a relationship with that person.

It certainly will seem that with that mentality, men are indeed rushing into relationships all too quickly. And ladies, you’d be right! We are rushing into something we have little to no understanding about. We aren’t taking into account your feelings, let alone our own. We aren’t taking into account the consequences of our actions and the emotional ramifications of them. We haven’t learned that sex is just an aspect of sharing love with someone. We haven’t learned yet that the actual relationship comes from spending time talking to and getting to know someone.

Faith (And largely I speak from a Christian perspective because I am one) teaches us that this is part and parcel why we avoid sex before marriage. The package rather poorly given to us as young boys is just simply “Don’t have sex, you’ll die!” (Seriously, I have been told that… Sex will kill you? ) More reformed people now a days take the more enlightened view that sex before marriage and without a relationship is debilitating and you’ll get hurt. I think… If I had that explanation when I was a young teenager in our church youth group, I’d have been spared a lot of pain.

Society upon being confronted with the failure of sex AS the relationship then tries to play it off as coy and tells you that relationships are no longer worth it. Just have lots of sex. Lots and lots of sex! Don’t care about your partner, she never cared about you. And we wonder where douchebags come from…

There comes a point where you have to stop and take pause gentlemen and ask yourself “What is a relationship to me?” “What does it mean to me to be in a relationship?” “How do I maintain a relationship.” When you’re taking time to think about what a relationship really means, you’re not in a rush to get into one.

You’re instead taking the time to think about how to have a proper relationship.